And just like that, another summer passes into my fondest memories.
I’m not exactly autumn’s biggest fan, you see. Considering it’s the furthest I can be from swimming in a cool lake on a hot sunny day.
Or bikini watching at said lake…
Don’t worry, I’m sure the pumpkin spice will tide over all you indoors-y types.
Oh, right! I do love pumpkin spice!
Did you know they make pumpkin spice cereal now? I wonder if I can get it imported on the train.
That’s horrifying. But at least you own it.
I swear. All of Fable is turning into sissy types now that the café is back. Pumping out cafe lah-tays and pistachio gel-lah-toes into everyone’s spare tire like there’s no tomorrow.
But you love their pies. Don’t you find that hypocritical?
I have pecan pie once a blue moon. Some of you act like it’s the end of the world if you don’t get a donut before 9.
Well, yeah… Then my fingers would be sticky at work.
…
At least I can pronounce pecan pie…
Anyway, here’s yer mail.
Doesn’t Miko deliver the mail?
See my earlier comment about donuts before nine. I owe her a few for running packages out into the woods.
Oh, good. And today’s question is here too.
“Dear Alex, what do you do every day when you’re not answering Fable questions?”
Not that hard of one. Now all I need to do is call up Ah…
Ah…
THIS QUESTION’S ADDRESSED TO ME!
There has to be some kind of mistake! I’m just the guy who reads the questions! I don’t have anything interesting to say!
Jill! Quick! What do you think of blueberry pie?!
Come again?
Or, um… try to pronounce biscotti for me. That was funny!
Enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame.
Oh my goodness, I’m so flattered! I don’t even have a script!
There’s a whole world of strange and mysterious people to talk to and they send ME a message?
Am I really so interesting?
Wait, of course I am. I have to own this!
Well! First off, I’m a CPA! I’m a numbers man at heart.
I like all kinds of numbers. And like most people, I like watching them go up!
Numbers of fans, numbers of patrons, numbers of NZ Coins… it’s an addiction, I’ll admit.
I love looking good in nice suits, and strutting around the boardwalk with my fancy briefcase…
All the ladies look at me and say, ‘now there’s a guy who knows his accounts payable from his accounts receivable’ if you know what I’m saying.
I am known around town for being slick in between the sheets.
Spreadsheets, that is.
And why wouldn’t I be a great lover? I work with figures every day!
Don’t like accounting puns? Sorry, it’s accrual world.
I’m here! I’m here…
Hey Miko. Check it out! I got a letter!
Oh cool! You got your mail. I was worried…
I suddenly got all kinds of calls about crimes against humanity being performed here.
I don’t think I’ve ever been called by the entire internet before.
Oh, heh. I was just telling some CPA jokes.
Neat.
But I think I’m going to have to let you off with a warning, though… I think you bankrupted the patience of our entire audience.
Oh, heavens no! I would never bankrupt anyone!
Unless, you know, they asked me to!
I already gave you a warning. Be careful, Alex. If you lose your job here, you’d be homeless.
Yeah, you’re right. Sorry…
And then you’d have to live in a tax shelter!
…!
Heyo!
Ahaha! This is great! You like puns too?
Totally. I got a book of jokes here somewhere…
Oh my goodness. We’re going to be in so much trouble for this when the others find out.
Here’s a good one. What happened to the criminal who crashed a plane into a convenience store?
Oh no… I should know this one.
He got ten to fifteen for eighty sixing a seven forty seven into a seven eleven!
HAHAHA! Oh my gosh, we’re so dead.
Good thing all dogs go to heaven.
HAHA-
Wait.
Another one! What’s the difference between a CPA and a lawyer?
Hey now wait a minute.
The lawyer knows he’s boring.
Oof!
Do you know the difference between a CPA and an undertaker?
…
Hit me.
The undertaker buries you AFTER you’re dead.
Oooh… Oh man.
Okay. Okay, I’ll stop.
The internet thanks you.
Sorry folks. Gotta fight fire with fire sometimes.
Words can’t describe how I feel right now.
But numbers can.
No. No please.
1 outta 10.
UUuuugggghhble…
