The Tourists

Sandy never expected giants to get off the train.

She stood on the platform waiting for Kona to arrive ten minutes ahead of schedule. Sandy had a small table set up near where she expected guests to depart with a bright pink “Welcome!” sign taped to a little wooden table she borrowed from Maxine’s shop. On that table was a silver dish topped with the cupcakes she made in preparation of their arrival and Sandy’s anxiety demanded that she keep adjusting them.

There was a first impression to make beyond just standing at a register or delivering food to a table. She had to be the face of the whole town for this crucial moment in Maxine’s career. This was important for Sandy as well, because it meant that Maxine could trust her and that’s what Sandy really wanted out of all of this. This was a chance for something brand new in Sandy’s life. If Maxine really meant what she said about being proud of her, that would be world’s different than any other manager Sandy had. And even above that, it would mean Sandy will have finally gotten her life together. Sandy tensed as she saw the train coming in the distance. She straightened her outfit and practiced her stiffest pose, unable to stop her legs from shivering in fright.

Sandy thought she was prepared for anything. But then two massive amazons got off the train and Sandy was stunned into silence by their size and their loud laughing conversation she didn’t know how to penetrate. They had to be the ones Maxine described. One was a bovine and the other had pink fur. But when they got off the train, their heads just barely cleared the door and they were able to reach the platform with just a single step. The two of them seemed happy, at least, as they looked out over Fable eagerly from the platform from their vantage point. Sandy blew her chance to say hello as she stared forward at their immense chests instead, which were at her eye level thanks to both of them being a head and a half taller than her at least.

I… Uh… Oh my gosh, they’re huge… What a trip! I totally thought that conductor was full of it when she said we’d be flying. Nah. Cute shortstacks don’t lie. She’s not a shortstack… More of a dumptruck. Uniform’s too small either way. I wonder when she goes off duty. ! Wha-what-We-well! -Welcome to Fable! Oh and hey, Reiko! There’s the welcome wagon! I am loving this town. We’re two for two with hot girls. I love your outfit! I’m what…? Uh… Thanks! You the one from Kemono Cafe? It’s right on her hat. Oh my gosh, that outfit is just out there! I can’t stop staring. Aah- wha- Is it okay? Ignore her. I got a few hours of that on the way. Nice place you’ve got here. Real beautiful. Cupcakes! Mora! She even got them to look like my hair! Hey… Where’s my cupcake, huh? I didn’t know! I’m sorry! I’ll make more! Pfft… I was just joking. Try to relax!

Sandy’s face burned with embarrassment. She’d heard of customers like this in horror stories from other waitresses. Sandy’s first attempt at small talk died in her throat as the two approached her, wobbling dangerously with every step.

How do I taste? Hahaha! Pretty good! Bet it isn’t as sweet as the real thing! You wanna find out?! Hey. Does this cafe have a place to sleep? Or do we have to get another hotel? Rightthisway!

Mora swatted Sandy’s back nice and hard. Sandy could tell she was trying to be friendly. But Mora didn’t notice that she barrelled Sandy over as Reiko told her a joke. Mora and Reiko were both incredibly swollen with muscle. She scrambled up before they noticed.

This place is real charming. Right out of a story book. W-would you like- Yeah. But are you hungry? I’m hungry. Hey, you still on duty for us? Yes- My name is Sandy and I’ll be your ser- Don’t bother with a menu. Just bring us the local favorites. Like two or three entrees each. We’ll share! Oh I see some burgers! They have burgers! Tiny plates, though… Yeah. That’s what I mean. You know what, bring us like five things each. Are you sure? That’s a lot of foo- And make one of them burgers! Doyouwantmediumrare?! CHEESE!? And it was a long trip. Is it cool if we order booze at this hour? It’s beer o’clock in some universe! Yeah, get me something light with lemon. It’s a warm day. Buh- Wait a sec… They may not have any~ That’s what I’m here for. That’s what I was going to say! We don’t sell alcohol here. I dunno if we have any! Well that’s a bummer. You’re saving them, Mora! Can I have another cider from your sample? Pfft. No. I gotta get this “Maxine” good and hammered with it if we’re going to set up something. That’s the whole point of this trip. Patches would be so proud. I’m cornering the market on a whole dimension! Haha! Yeah, I guess. I’m so glad you invited me. You make good arm candy. Oh! OH! Speaking of… Hey Sunny! Is that one single over there? Do you know her? Whoa. Sandy… Sorry! Hey, you! The one in blue! You wanna come drink with us? I gotta go. Good luck, Sunny… I’m really… really sorry we don’t have any alcohol at the moment. We have water, tea, lemonade, and lots of different Foxy Coffees. Hey. Heard you were looking for booze? I can sell you some hooch now that Miko’s gone. HEY ALRIGHT! WOOHOO! What is happening?! No idea. I was never here. THANKS A LOT, JILL! Hoooaaah! This tastes like walnuts and paint thinner. Perfect! Make it a rush job, Sunny! We’re starved! Keep the burgers coming! AAAAAUGH!