The hardest part…
About doing these interviews yourself…
Is the endlessly frustrating equipment!
Ah, there we are. Little light is on. Green means good.
You have the unique honor of being talked upon by the distinguished-
LOUIS-LISELOTTE HANNA-MARIE VON HAUS GRUBENSTEIN!
But you may call me Hannah.
Today’s reader with a suspicious amount of free time is Davoerlo. Who asks yours truly…
“To the mysterious thief, what made you turn to crime?”
And on top of this, this reader decided to use both brain cells to craft a trap for me, upon which he adds: “Miko there she is, grab her!”
To this, I say ‘Hah’.
Not even a full laugh. This is only amusing because it is absurd. Miko has now failed to catch me twice.
It’s going to become a bit of a “running gag” at this rate.
OOOooh ho ho ho ho!
There will be only one man here tonight and he has the physique of a bologna sandwich.
Which by the tick of this swiss watch should be arriving in three, two…
Light’s are already on… Camera is already out…
Oh relax. It is just me, your esteemed guest has arrived early!
This is insanely reckless, Hannah.
What makes you think I’m not going to turn you in?
You could. But then you’d get nothing. I will just escape as I usually do.
Why don’t we take the time to humor our reader’s question instead? It is addressed to me.
You’re not afraid of me capturing you?
HAH! HAH! HAH! OOoooh… Oh.
… Are ya done?
Oh… Oh, do not do that to me. My chest hurts.
Oooooh… Our readers need to learn that kind of humor. I need a beer.
Fine. Why did you turn to a life of crime?
At first, life demanded it.
You all seem to be doing just fine despite the gold that is missing. A few missed trips. A few less outfits… And now someone else gets to live!
You can think of it as charity, if it makes you feel better.
Only this time, you had no choice to look the other way.
Forgive me for not being sympathetic.
You are forgiven. We are all with failings.
But why keep doing it? Your powers- I mean, you likely could just work alongside Fable residents?
A life of mediocrity, yes. And what half-thought did you spit out before backtracking there?
That I could use my powers for the aid of the town?
Perhaps I should have joined a theater.
It is… Specific. But you have more magic powers than anyone else I’ve met.
Let me pose a question? Assuming you wanted to not be somehow less than a gameshow host and contribute a new skill to Fable, how long would that take?
A couple of years, maybe? I dunno. Four for school…
I can be any form on a whim.
But the one thing you and I share is that our minds are very difficult to change.
Four years just to announce you’re ready to begin a new life? Please. You can keep it.
What are you when you pivot to something entirely new?
You’re weak and helpless, estranged from the skills you’ve learned to survive.
But it’s not impossible. You could do it.
I can do anything. True.
But because you won’t… It’s because you enjoy it!
Given those you associate with, I will estimate you have a second brain cell somewhere in there.
Try a little harder, bologna.
Hey Alex. Did you see this week’s question?
No, Miko. I did not. For I am terrible at my job.
Which one… Which one is real?
You shall have to shoot us both! A-hah-hah!
We don’t carry guns.
Which is why I will once again casually outrun you into the trees, you disastrous dish rag.
And there they go.
I’m going to prove her wrong.
I could have let chicken slide, maybe ham.
Now it’s personal. The next time she sees me, I’ll be Beef Stroganoff.
See you all next time!